How little kids learn and remember

I am the oldest of 6 children in my family, a chore not to be underestimated, especially when the youngest is 3-1/2. I'm in charge of setting the example, playing 'dad' when he isn't home, and aiding my younger siblings through my knowledge and experience. Sometimes it gets a little frustrating when my 6 year old sister refuses to read or to stop lying, my 9 year old sister refuses to do her chores, or even when my 3-1/2 brother won't 'come here', 'clean up', or 'stop eating so we can say the prayer.' It's been interesting to see see 5 examples of checkpoints which I was once at sometime in my life. Was I really like this? Why can't they just 'grow up'?

Being older than all of them, I've got a much wider perspective about life, and a lot more knowledge of how it works. We've all heard the adage, "Don't make mistakes you can learn from other people," and people that have made mistakes are ready to persuade others to not choose incorrectly. It's easy to become frustrated or impatient with someone who can't see 'how clear it is to understand', and hard to see 'why they don't get it.' I've been down this road with them regarding stepping stones such as tying shoes, learning to read, riding a bike, using technology, and navigating public education.

The thing with younger kids, is that some things just take time. You can't force them to adopt an ideal attribute of someone older just because they've got a model or example. Some mistakes, like tying your shoes wrong, turning wrong on a bike, or saying a word incorrectly must be learned from through trial, error, and growth.

In remembering our past, it is often difficult to remember specific facts from times not too far distant. I remember some things I got last Christmas, and a few events of two summers ago, but they are often vague and fuzzy. When I attach last Christmas to memories of my dad not having a job, and the feelings I had when abundant gestures of secret service filled our doorstep, all sorts of details return.

In childhood, feelings must be attached to memories in order for them to remember. If they feel good about reading through praise or positive aid, they'll want to read and become proficient in it. The opposite also holds true. If they feel bad about lying because of gentle correction, they will be more inclined to stop. If they receive constant attention because of the messes they make without feelings of remorse or change, the next time you turn around you'll find another mess.

While home teaching a family in my ward, I was assigned to give the lesson. There were 4 children in the household, all under the age of 9, all of them having something better in mind to do. I presented the lesson in the most simple form I could while retaining the important truths being taught, although I felt it wasn't getting across due to frequent interruptions. One time the youngest child almost pulled over the tree or unwrapped a gift for his mother, or another child got into the refridgerator. I had to remember these kids weren't misbehaving; they were just being curious kids. After I wrapped up the lesson, feeling I had accomplished nothing but embarrass their parents, one of the children said, "I like it when the home teachers come. It makes me happy." The feelings he attached to this seemlingly chaotic event will cause him to remember later on the difference we made in entering his home and presenting a message about Christ, regardless of whether he rememberd a single word I had said. This emotion in children is an ever-present guide in their lives that allows them to learn and to hold memories.

Without attaching feelings to what children learn through experiencing things, learning is difficult or near impossible. You can't rush the learning process by saying 'do it this way, it's right, I know it's right, and I'm always right.' They don't know that.