In Performance

We're all musicians, right? Of course. You'll get the typical, 'yup... I play the radio...' *knee-slap*, but each of us has music inside whether we show it or not. Can anyone imagine life without music? If you can, don't try! Where there is music, there must be musicians, or those who perform the music. It's not the music I'm going to analyze, but the performance thereof, along with a quote I heard recently.

I've been making music for a while; I started piano when I was but a wee lad, courtesy of my parents. Like most children I suddenly became afraid of pianos on a certain day that happened to be my first recital, or afraid of that one certain piano in the middle of everything. "Just do your best," my mother encouraged. No worries, right? Although not to quite the same extent, I became quite nervous when the time to perform in such a recital drew near. Whether it be music, performances can be a little intimidating. Even in 7th grade band, seated among a hundred scrawny kids, it's still a little scary!

Many performances and recitals later, I'm at Timpanogos High School. It's concert time once again, only this time it is the debut of the newly-created Rocky Mountain Wind Ensemble. A small, yet talented group, we had been rehearsing 5 songs for a few months and were ready to perform. As we were warming up, the director had a few comments for us. Among those were 'do your best,' remember that dynamic and that articulation, listen on this part, and enjoy it! However, one of them really hit me. He said, as musicians "we perform not to impress, but to express."

Of course we all want to put our soul into the music, but that comment summed it up. All the worries in recitials, all the heads bent in shame due to a few missed notes... Why did you play? To show people what you've got? Or to show them what the music's got? There will always be an audience to whatever music we play, a number between 1 and a few hundred thousand, depending on where we are. This philosophy can be applied to a much broader spectrum than music alone. Dance, visual art, even public speaking. We're all familiar with those who become caught up in what they do in such a way that they seem to glorify themselves above the talent they are displaying. Not everyone can be Mozart. Not everyone can be Van Gogh. Not everyone can be the Beatles. Performers can only impress people so much. Expression, however, runs much deeper.

Music becomes much more powerful when coupled with emotion. (Research for my paper, soon-to-be podcast shows this.) Instead of 'higher, faster, louder' that comes with impressing others through music, expression adds a personality and a different feel. Although apparently subtle, the slight difference can determine whether a performance is a success or a flop in the mind of the performer. I have fallen into the mindset of, "I can't mess up here or everyone will know!" or "I have to sound good on this part." After a performance in that mindset the result is misery and dissatisfaction. Everyone has been there. "I bombed that, everyone heard..." When a public performance is viewed as a glorified practice session (you learn in performance as well), and the intent is to show the audience your passion for the music, things turn out much better.

Even in competition when tension is running high, top placement comes from those who express their music best, so the goal of each group is to "express" better than everyone else, right? No, what a misconception. In the end, scores don't matter. Comparisons don't matter. What the audience thinks... doesn't matter. The only competition lies in individual improvement. Personal satisfaction, full expression of the music, and the indescribable feeling between the last note and the applause is what truly matters. Forget the judges. Forget the audience. Live the music.

We perform not to impress, but to express.